


This Is Certainly Eye-Catching

by FiaMac



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Mating Dance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-21
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-25 19:52:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7545773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiaMac/pseuds/FiaMac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eames has a sure-fire way of winning Arthur over.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is Certainly Eye-Catching

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kedgeree](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kedgeree/gifts).



> It's all because of [this](http://kedgeree11.tumblr.com/post/147622094169/becausebirds-the-sultry-dance-of-the) and [this](https://youtu.be/1XkPeN3AWIE) that this happened... illustrating why I shouldn't have access to computers and Tumblr during times when I'm supposed to be sleeping.
> 
> And this totally has nothing to do with Psycho Heroes, by the way, because... weird.

Arthur flicks a glance over his laptop and frowns. “Stop that.”

The _tickity-tack_ of rapid fire typing continues in a flurry before dying off suddenly.

“If this isn’t some kind of psychotic episode, cut it out. I’m trying to work.”

But the twitchy movements persist—distracting—just within his line of sight. “Seriously.” _Tick-tick-tackity_. “Knock it off.”

In defiance of the command, Eames sidles further into the room, doing more of that hop-skip-jiggle motion that first caught Arthur’s attention. Arthur looks up to find Eames’s wide-eyed gaze boring into his face and lurches back in his seat.

“Eames, what the fuck?”

Eames strikes a pose in front of Arthur’s desk, chest puffed and arms flailed wide, and then begins to undulate in a truly disturbing fashion. “This is seduction, poppet. I’m seducing you.”

“With interpretive dance?”

“On the contrary, my lovely Arthur. With the sultry movements of the infamous bowerbird.” Eames turns around and moves in closer with his ass leading the way.

“The bowerbird,” Arthur repeats in his driest voice.

Eames stares over his shoulder, all bug-eyes and puckered mouth. “A magnificent creature,” he intones, rolling his arms in dramatic circles. “The epitome of confidence, presence, and romance. The male bowerbird courts the female through an elaborate dance, displaying the beauty and agility of his body. You will be attracted to my virility and be compelled to mate with me.”

And then he starts to spasm to an imaginary beat.

“It’s animal magnetism at its finest,” he gasps, his entire lower body somehow managing to bounce up and down while everything above the waist remains still.

Arthur takes it all in, horrified but unable to look away. “It looks like you pissed yourself and can't get out of the wet spot. And why am I the female in this scenario? Is this a size thing?”

Eames’s pinched expression of artistic concentration instantly morphs into delight. “Should you care to demonstrate the size of your thing, darling, I’d be happy to reassure you of your masculinity.” He hop-jiggles around the desk, making it a full circle when Arthur pops out of his chair and tries to maintain a respectable barrier between his person and Eames’s sashaying hips.

Arthur leans away from those outstretched arms. “I really don’t have time for this.”

“Oh? What if I did… _this._ ” Eames presses their chests together and convulses with vigor. “And… _this_.”

“What are… look, I’m not sure if… _Jesus crap_ , could you just… never make that face again?”

“Don’t fight it, my love. Just let yourself be—”

The moment—such as it is—is shattered when Cobb walks in from the back room, face buried in the mark’s financial records. “Hey Arthur, I need you to—” Cobb looks up from the stack of printouts and stops in his tracks. “Uh… is this a bad time?”

“No, it’s fine,” Arthur hurriedly assures even as Eames visibly deflates, arms folding in on himself. “Eames was just, ah… showing me… something.”

Cobb eyes them with clear skepticism. “Right. Okay.” He dismisses the odd tension in the room. “Arthur, I want to go over these financials again. I know there’s something we can use here.”

Arthur looks at Cobb. Looks at Eames. Then back again to Cobb. “Yeah. I’ll be right there.”

Cobb hesitates. “Sure.” Nods to the silent forger. “Eames.”

Eames nods back. “Cobb.”

With a final, suspicious squint, Cobb backs out of the room, leaving the two men in stilted silence until Arthur clears his throat and gestures vaguely at the departed Cobb. “I really ought to get back to work.”

Eames blinks. “Yeah, no, of course.”

“I just need…” Arthur shifts awkwardly before reaching past Eames’s hip for his laptop, and Eames leaps out of the way like a startled… well, bird. Arthur is quick to step back and edge towards to the door. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Eames just nods again. “Okay. Later.” He watches the last of Arthur disappear around the corner and sighs. “I think that went well.”

 


End file.
